I need a vacation...from my vacation.

The family and I recently spent the weekend in Nashville for my nephew's second birthday. This is our second year doing this but something about this time just clicked.

I loved it there. Rarely do I ever go on trips and not want to go home at the end of them. The kids drive me crazy, there is always something that makes me miss home or I just plain miss my bed. This time was different. I did not want to leave. I don't know what it was about this trip but something about the city made me fall in love. We never even made it to the music side of Nashville.

Friday night we got in late, so everyone went straight to bed. Saturday morning was spent fighting the dreaded pediculosis in Lebanon, eating at Jack In The Box and napping. After nap time we decided to head to Centennial Park and feed the geese. There was an arts and crafts festival going on (TACA) and even though it was sprinkling (then downright raining) I loved the whole place. The Parthenon is gorgeous and the lake was just my kind of place.
After the park we headed to Martin's Bar B Que Joint for dinner. It was in an episode of Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. The food was good and I got a t shirt to remember (as if I'd forget!) I shared a sampler with Patrick and was still stuffed at the end. The brisket was delicious!
Then I heard the magic words. Ice cream. We followed L to Menchie's Frozen Yogurt. I had never heard of this place but now I'm hooked! It is right beside Red Robin on the list of Restaurants Southern Indiana Needs NOW. The froyo was delicious and the kids loved getting their own, mixing flavors and picking from the many toppings.

By the time we got back to L's, everyone was exhausted. I fell asleep almost instantly (but Sam sang to me a little before I went to sleep. She has a sweet little girl stuffed inside her somewhere).

Sunday it was time for Baby J's birthday party. It was at The Monkey's Treehouse and was, of course, monkey themed. The cake was adorable and so was the play place. All of the kids had a blast, even the too-grown-for-his-own-good 13 year old. After an hour and a half of play, it was time for us to head home.

Blog, I didn't want to leave! I wanted to stay so bad. I wanted to explore the city and eat more delicious food. The country music capitol of the world and I didn't get to one bar or show! The Children's Adventure Center taunted me with it glowing pyramids.

I've never wanted to pack up and move somewhere so much and I've been dreaming of Florida since I was a little girl. We've been home for a week and I'm already trying to come up with reasons to go back.

I'm not sure how to deal with this, blog. But you can be sure I'll scheme something up. What's that? Spring Break? Oh, you're such a smart blog!

In the meantime, how cute is this cake?

The Winter Grumps

Winter is creeping into the Ohio Valley and it's bringing a depression With it. Heavier than my average, everyday depression.

There's an old joke that says in the Ohio Valley the season are Almost Summer, Summer, Almost Winter and Winter. We seem to have moved into almost winter. One day it was 102 degrees outside and beautiful; now it's staying in the 60's and either raining, drizzling or sprinkling all of the time.

It seems like everything is piling up this week. Between Samantha somehow managing to contract lice (at 2. She's such a show off) and then give it to me, dealing with a friend who is not only dating an abuser but possibly pregnant by him, dealing with another friend who admitted her relationship issues with her child's father are about 98% because of the 'past' he and I had, Patrick's biological grandmother passing away, our friends going MIA and not even being so considerate to say, "hey sorry we just disappeared for a couple weeks. We'll just get on Facebook and ignore your messages" and this nasty weather...I'm ready to pack up and head some place where no one knows my name.

Friend C is going to have a pregnancy test done today. I'm fairly certain she's pregnant and so is she. If she's not wanting him to be a part of her life for this, I'll fight tooth and nail to protect her but I know in the end I can't make her leave him. I just wish I could pretend he would be different but he won't. He's an ass to everyone, even his teenage daughter. He's not abusive toward his daughter, just an all around jerk.

My only consolations are that even with all of their problems I have some amazing friends, two beautiful daughters, a father to my child who goes above and beyond for both of my girls and a crazy family that loves me.

Now if I can just let that last paragraph overshadow all the rest!

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Now, superficial stuff.

My nails, they're finally growing! I had to superglue my right middle finger because it ripped a little and my nail polishes contain formaldehyde so my nails are a little yellow but I'm still proud.







I'm holding a bottle of Wet N Wild Wild Shine clear polish. I'm not affiliated with them in any way (but they're pretty awesome). Now I just need a fall mani and I'll be set!

Edit:
And then of course, the day after I wrote this post my middle nail on my right hand broke down into the quick. I'll end up cutting them all down before it grows back out. Darnit.

The one where I talk about abuse.

I've been trying to write this post for a while but when it comes time to sit down and do it, nothing sounds right.

My best friend of almost 16 years is dating an abusive man. I've told her, others have told her, she has admitted that she knows he is. She says she's confused and doesn't know what to do. No matter how many times I tell her that he's just going to escalate, she can't let go. She admits that she's happier without him but she still can't let go.

I've been in her shoes. I was with a man for three years, had a child with him, and the whole time he abused me. He talked down to me, he slammed me up against walls, pulled my hair, threatened to take our child away. He forced me to do sexual things that I begged him not to. I've felt that helplessness, looked in the mirror and told myself I had to get away but in the end I always went back.

So maybe that's why I get so angry when I see her ignoring the hurt he's putting her through. When she shows me a bruise and doesn't seem to think it's an immediate GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS POSSIBLE. Maybe that's why I bring it up every time we talk. I know she's going to get tired of me talking about it but I don't know what else to do.

I pray for her, for her son. I've tried to be mean about it. I told her I didn't want to go to her funeral and watch her son crying because some sad, insecure little man couldn't put the stupid bottle down and treat her with respect.

I try so hard all the time to make her see that no matter what he may say; it's his actions that show how he really feels. You can't wrap your hands around the neck of someone you love and throw them into a dresser. In front of your child (his not her's).

I'm so frustrated because I KNOW that no one can save her but herself but what happens if she doesn't realize it until it's too late? What if she doesn't want to be saved? She has to want to get away from it before I can convince her that she should. I want to cry every time I even think about what he could do to her.

Now I know how everyone felt when they saw what was going on with me. How helpless they felt when I defended him. How even an intelligent woman like me can make themselves look like a blind fool. How angry they got when they saw how much he hurt me.

For now, I just try to tell her I love her everyday and that she is always welcome in my home. That she is an amazing, strong woman and she deserves a strong man who will treat her the way she deserves. I feel like there is so much more that I should do but, what? How do you break down that wall?

She was always such a huge personality. So outgoing, never took crap from anyone. Always full of laughter and jokes. So mischievous and full of life. I don't want to see him kill that spark inside of her.

I don't know how to end this post. To be continued seems a little...trite and I have no zingy one liners. (Are they even allowed in posts such as this one?) but if anyone reading this has ever been in her position, what helped you? What was the straw that broke the camel's back? What was your 'moment' when you realized that you just did NOT have to take it anymore?

Tweet, email, comments. Anything. Send them through. I'm all ears (and eyes).


(Originally posted at an earlier date)

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